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We headed out on I- 95 heading south, strangely there wasn’t a soul in sight. Well until from out of nowhere a big fat man ran out in front of my ca... and I hit him! Boom! Instant death, yep I killed Santa Claus! We got out of the car to see if we could help him when these six short dudes dressed in green grabbed me and started pushing me towards this sleigh with reindeers. They were yelling now I was Santa Claus, I tried to tell those little dudes I was the wrong sex when a mirror appeared in. You don't need it to speak. You know I think you talk too much. God gave you that tongue to lick dick and asshole. He certainly didn't give you that tongue to french kiss little female sluts in your freshman class. He didn't give you that tongue to tongue fuck pussy! He gave you that tongue to wash balls and clean dicks and tongue out ripe male assholes! We have established that in our earlier lessons. Am I right? ?Louder Billy, my buddies can't hear you with that God damned sissy boy voice.. " But, but, you promised." Worry not child, I'll see you back to your old self. It's just that Ihave appointments with important people, people who do not take kindlyto us lesser beings not showing up on time. Better for us to keep ongoing and not draw down their wrath. Besides or journey will be hardlymore than three months." Three months!" Exactly, no time at all, when measured against one's entire life."Almost in tears of frustration, he demanded, "Why me? Why, if you knewthat you may be. ” I grinned at her as we walked to the door.Once inside, she helped me measure rooms. I also carefully lifted a corner section of the carpet in the living room to expose the old hardwood floor underneath. I said, “That’s good. It’s there and looks pretty good. I like the idea of refinishing it and the light walls.”We continued to look over each room. I put particular attention on the bathrooms knowing that they might get some renovation attention from me also. The “hall” bath would be difficult.
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