I'm currently single to so it drives me insane, having to sneak off for a secret wank while in work, while watching TV, riding on the the bus. Well no... really on the bus, it's not that bad yet. OK, OK I did do it on a bus once when I was younger and still in school and that was through my sweatpants but anyway I digress. Due to being so unbelievably horny all the time there is an Adult bookstore that I go to sometimes that has gloryholes in the back. I'm straight so most of the time I end up. Still, she was pretty, in a cute and all-American way. It was a week before Halloween and she told me about a Halloween party she was planning to attend. She asked my what I thought of her idea for a costume. She would use her boyfriends shoulder pads and helmet and dress up as a football player. Naturally, I told her she’d look pretty, and we started to talk about making her look more like an athlete and like a man. We talked about how a man has a thicker waste, so she ought to wear something. So, if it's OK with you, I'll do it. Ought to take four or five hours if you have a chain saw."I'd already had an estimate, and $900 is big money around here. Here was this dear man offering to do it free. As Beth would say, (a) this guy really did owe us, and (b) I am as cheap as Bob is about spending money."OK," I said, "You don't have to do this, but if you really want to, the chain saw is in the garage. Bob's starting to get the place cleaned up, so you probably can even find it." Will you. “The secret is out! You could have cost us the election!” I teased.“You’re not funny!” was the riposte, although she began to giggle.“If I’m not funny, then how come you’re laughing?”“Do you think anybody saw me? I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life!”“You mean besides me and your other boyfriends?” That earned me a squawk of outrage. I sat down at my desk and twirled around to face her. “Well, if we can’t have incredibly hot sex outside, we’ll just have to have incredibly hot sex.
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‘Sure Dave. I thought she left years ago.’ ‘That she did but she’s back. She just took that vacant territory north of Miami. Evidently she’s
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