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They're all at the funeral."--A Cape Bretoner walked into a crowded local bar, waving his Colt 45 with an 8 shot clip and yelled,"Who in here has been...screwing my wife?"A Newfie from the back of the bar yelled back,"You're gonna need more ammo!"WHILE ON A ROAD TRIP, AN ELDERLY COUPLE, STOPPED AT A PIZZA HUT FOR LUNCH.AFTER FINISHING THEIR MEAL, THEY LEFT THE RESTAURANT, AND RESUMED THEIR TRIP TO PHOENIX.WHEN LEAVING, THE ELDERLY WOMAN UNKNOWINGLY LEFT HER GLASSES ON THE TABLE, AND SHE DIDN'T. "Can I think about it?" I hedged."Sure." Beth said, "Its your decision," before Susan could set adeadline. "Now if you two are done with the girl talk can we please getto the important part of this evening, Jess you said something aboutsome new songs?" Oh yeah!" I nodded, "Got your keyboard?" I reached for my guitar andflicked my fingers over the strings to check the tune."New guitar?" Beth noticed, "Must be getting paid well to afford anOvation." Yes, it cost me two months wages but it's worth. Before this party can start, Ill need a few things. There are strange noises, and I open my mouth to ask what he is doing but think better of it. Instead, I bite my lip and stay silent. Finally, I hear the door open, feet shuffling, and the sound of zippers make my mouth go dry. I dont know if I can do this, then a laugh slips out. How can I forget, this isnt a choice, and while I dont know what the punishment would be, Im sure it wouldnt be pleasant. Something funny slut? I shake my head in. We moved to the living room to have our drinks. As we sat, I saw that a soft pale breast was pushing itself out from the cleavage of her cleavage. I gulped my orange juice hoping to leave tactfully before I started leering down her nightgown. Then I realized that the orange juice was heavily seasoned with vodka. We both smiled when my gulp turned into shock and sweat ran down my face. She remarked that my shirt was soaked with sweat and offered to quickly run it through the dryer..
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