“Jackie, FUCK stop already --- you are beautiful and if he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you, and if you can’t see it either well then you...��re just a dumb bitch” I yelled. She was speechless; even though we’ve been friends since we were little I have never spoken to her that way. I could see the tears start to form, fuck I felt like shit... “Jackie, I’m sorry honey, it’s just that you don’t seem to understand just how beautiful you are.” I said “I know it’s hard for you to believe me, but to. Other ... one.”I nodded. “How did you feel after you wrote them out?” I asked.“Pretty shitty,” she admitted. “I realized that I haven’t really thought of you as a friend in a couple of years. Not since I started falling for Becky. Most of it is just petty crap, like not inviting you to my birthday last year.”I shrugged. “I didn’t care about what had happened before really. I only brought it up because you kept insisting that we were friends and you didn’t show any interest in getting in touch. I had the house to myself. Although it was a technical breach of the lockdown rules I offered my colleagues the use of my spare rooms. I figured it was acceptable because it was better for their mental health than to be alone in a deserted shared house or small flat. They both gladly accepted. We made plans to have a great Christmas lunch after we finished work.The days that followed were wonderful, my house was once again filled with the sounds of music and laughter. We all drank far too much. "I think the guilt made it more exciting for you," I said, filling the time, talking so she could get her breath back, maybe trying to be kind. "Being taboo, living dangerously, all that is full of adrenaline but there's no way to win, if you can be cool with all the deception it's not so exciting. No one has a dull affair."I stopped. No sense in getting too clever. I strolled past her and set the coffee going again. She was still sitting with her head in her hands. I put a steaming mug on the.
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