Does all that mean that we have to stop being ... close like this... ?" I took Carly's hands into mine, and said with full intent, "Nothing else chang...s between us, I would miss you too much ... so I guess we can have one teeny, tiny little secret ... what do you think?"We held each other tightly as we slowly walked out of the woods ... right before we hit Bev's back yard, we kissed and hugged each other ... When we walked back out in to civilization, we saw Bev's driveway still empty. "Tell. Hot bath, long soak. I am unwinding into a kind of comfort. It'spleasant to steam here, to lather soft skin, feel hands slide on calf,and thigh. On arms, arms pressing on breast, then lathered hands.Expanding in the heat, I seem to fill this body just a little more.I'm taking way too long, of course. But she's patient. Perhapspracticed, as I think about the morning whispers, yesterday's strangetalk. Patient, too, once I am out. Here's a fresh chemise, from here,see. Drawer: No turn them the. It makes me feel weak, that I can’t trust myself, that I almost need to let him hurt me again, if only through memory, so I can believe in myself and my decisions. I hate him. Well, I want to. I think. I don’t know. Hating takes so much energy, and all I really want, what I really want, is to forget. To become someone else. And it isn’t enough for everyone else to see me as someone else. I need to be someone else to me. I want to undo myself and start again, really forget everything. But mostly. Plenty of students spend their time there, as do shoppers as it is in the centre of three big shopping centres. It would be easy for an older man to corner a younger woman, to get chatting to her there. There would be plenty of people around to hear a rejection, or at least to see the two together – to see them meet. As the bathrooms are upstairs as well but hidden in a corner, it would be easy for you older gentleman to slip her hotel room key from her coat pocket, her bag or from the seat.
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